You Have a Choice

You have a choice, right in this moment.

“Choose not to worry.”

Ernst Holmes wrote this as his second of recommendations to live well.

“Worry is an acquired habit. . . . You didn’t worry when you were a child. . . .  Loose [the past] and let it go and look forward to the future with hope. Build up a great idea of yourself the way you would like to be and work toward it, knowing that God is your partner and friend, and wills you to be happy. Think, feel, and live this.”

How much of  worry — anyone’s worry — is fear?

Most of it, it would seem. Fear of what’s to come; fear of what has been; fear for won’t be or will be that isn’t wanted…. worry is fear of those things out of our control, moment to moment.

And as the proverbial truth reminds us, worrying is akin to praying for what we don’t want, keeping it present and with us, a fear shadowing our every step.

Unfortunately worry also defines our steps — was that a stumble? A wrong path? Am I in danger? Will I fall or flail?…

So how can we choose to not worry, to live like children of light again, when worry trips us so? It seems almost to easy to say just let it go and look to a future with hope” when the shadows are marring our view.

The answer is in the action of it:  to choose to Work.  Holmes suggests the sure way: To envision a great idea of yourself and then work — work toward it, work in the moment, lean into idea.

It seems to me there are two working ways into the light from the shadow of worry, as actions take us out of the land of internal shadow.  Use either one, as the magic is in the work of working toward your vision, knowing you are not alone in it:

Here’s the first:

People don’t know this, but I’m really, really good at:

_______________________________________

________________________________________

 

. . . And I like doing these things.

 

Here’s why:

In feeling — leaning into — why you love doing what you’re really good at, you begin the work of building into the vision of you as you wish to become. Even just feeling that great idea of you, and then working toward it, seems to loose the worries, moment by moment.

Here’s another way to loose those worries:

I care deeply about

___________________________

___________________________

and I’m good at …

___________________________

___________________________

So clearly the World needs me to put these together

in this way as my work while I’m here:

_________________________________

_________________________________

Finding a purpose — your purpose — in the world and actively leaning into it, moment by moment, brings light into the shadows that plague us in the worries and fears. Focusing on what we care deeply about strengthens us, as acting On Task and On Purpose, we find we are working, in light and shining light out.

Action looses the worries and the fears — the choice is yours to take it.

Walk, no Act, in light and with blessings today…

Elizabeth Darby

Shazam! Poof!

Magic!  We jumped forward an hour today — to ‘daylight savings time’ — and none of us did a thing. That’s either a ‘loss’ of an hour or a ‘gain’ of more time when we want it and need it, at the end of a work day. It’s either loss or gain, depending on your view.

Isn’t the same thing true of abundance? Either we experience it or we experience the lack of it, gain or loss, but it’s the same moment either way.

A part of the reason for my workshops and one-on-one sessions are to help each of us become aware of fleeting moments, the magic of life, and to fill each moment with our talents, our passion, and an abundance of shine from inside out. That’s what we each experience in abundance when we are On Task and On Purpose.

As the saying goes, we see what we look for: Looking for limits, they’re all around you; but so is an endless horizon, if you choose to look for that instead. Looking for permission, you won’t find it outside yourself. Looking for abundant resources . . . even those are found inside first, then seem to magically appear outside once you feel the abundance inside.

You just have to believe that all you need is right here, right now. In this moment there is enough time and enough resources. There’s a moment — right now — in which you can just be your best you and feel abundant as you are. Right … now. Breathe. And right … now. Breathe.

Beyond the Superstar-life driven into our heads by our icon culture, there is a little but very important question at the root of having “enough” … How much do you need, in this tiny moment in which you have all you could ever feel?

So, just for fun, Shazam! Poof!  You have, in this moment, all the resources you ever needed or desired, and all the time in the world you could ever want.

How will you spend the moments of this beautiful day?

First, I’d ______________________________________

Then I’d _____________________________________

Shazam! Poof! Feel the abundance of life and joy and shine in this moment.

Blessings!

Elizabeth Darby

 

Link

More on Success:

This lovely reflection from business professor Clay Christensen, from a couple years ago in the Harvard Business Review. I keep it handy for days when I, too, need to remember that Success is a life-work as well as a moment-to-moment state of smiles:

How Will You Measure Your Life

by Clayton Christensen

http://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-measure-your-life/ar/1?cm_sp=most_widget-_-hbr_articles-_-How%20Will%20You%20Measure%20Your%20Life%3F

Blessings on your day!

Elizabeth Darby

What a Success!

How do you define Success?

How do you define your success?

Is it how you define success for someone else?

If you have moola-$ and no health, is that a success?

What if you have health and no moola-$, is that a success for you? Today? Now? In this moment of your life or for all time?

If someone else you have deemed “a success” has moola-$ and oh-by-the-way a little later on, you read headlines of his or her living (enduring) in a state of no health (whether addictions, self-destructions, or tragic illnesses), is that Success?

Does that life-experience still count as being in the “What a Success” category — in your estimation?

If you have plenty of moola-$ and no family, is that Success?

Repeat the question for those you esteem: If they have “plenty” but alas did you hear/read about their family… do you still consider Success to be in the equation by your definition?

If you feel “What a Success” about your life’s daily journey thus far … and yet no paparazzi are on your curb, is that Success?

After all, we wouldn’t know about the Success of those we esteem if it weren’t for the paparazzi capturing it for us, would we? And that makes them a … Success?

So “What a Success!!” really quickly gets  down to what you desire, what you want to experience, the costs of trading one success for another.

How do you define success as a Whole Life experience? Because like life insurance, you either buy the Whole Life or you buy the Term insurance — and be assured that they cost very differently and the return is very different.

Defining for you — only you — “What a Success” means also gets down to being willing to admit that what we esteem in others and how we define their Success we may — or may not — want to apply to our own lives.

Maybe this will help: A question from my book and workshops:

To Live Each Day I need*:

1) ___________________________

2) ___________________________

3) ___________________________

4) ___________________________

5) ___________________________

I might want these things:

____________________

____________________

____________________

But I really Need:

____________________________________________

*Need vs Want. Things you Need are things your Soul can’t live without.

The things you need might vary from the basics of a roof over your head to food on your plate. Needs might also include a big sky overhead, peace and quiet, or urban verve, or the connection of a family or a home-refuge nearby, or to be as far way from family as possible!  Among the Wants might be the kind of roof and how big a roof you want it to be and the quantity of the food on your plate.

Needs might include health to enjoy your life successes, large and small, like the energy to join in with the laughter of a loved one, rather than collapsing into a coma at night or feeling irritated at the humor — What are they so happy about?

Needs might also include Time — like having time to lovingly dry your child’s tears on any given moment of a day… (What did you have him or her for, if not to be available when s/he needs you?)

However, both Needs and Wants however defined will end up driving your life, your hours spent, your joy in your moments while here, and ultimately how you define Success in your time spent here on Earth.

Too often the Wants take over.

So Be Clear.

It’s what you need that will keep your Work true to You. . . 

And in being true to You and your definition of Success, your Work will be created more easily and joyfully….

If you are meeting your needs and are clear on how you define your Success, then it’s your paparazzi moment, if so desired:

Take a photo right now, even if only in your mind’s perfect camera, and frame it…

What a Success!

Blessings on your successful day, wherever in the world you are and however you define it!

Elizabeth Darby

A Lot of Truth

There’s a lot of Truth out there these days.

A lot of it is good Truth:

Like we are really good at doing what uses both our talents and our heart-felt enthusiasm, otherwise we risk the fashion faux pas of wearing brown shoes and a black belt … and a half-smile of enduring another day choosing one over the other;

Like we need to define our own success to look like something we actually want to wear and which looks good on us, rather than the latest style;

Like we don’t walk alone no matter how dark it looks and despite all appearances in certain moments of closet-hiding.

Moments of closet-hiding? You know the ones I mean:

You wake up thinking Today is the Day I’ll _____________________________ (find that job; feel talented for once or again; know that it’s possible I’m here to do Good Work that pays, despite age, circumstance, and time taken off for care-taking kids or parents or both; not feel like yesterday’s left-over beer when handing in yet another resume).

Choose any or all or fill in the blank with your own grinning admission.

And then you find that, well, yes you do still feel like any or all of these and the best place to deal is in the warm closet where your imagination can soothe you with possibility. Closet-hiding.

It gets pretty stuffy in that closet after a while.

And this is where we can dare to let the Truth in, like a bit of fresh air or a crack of light into our dark, somewhat stuffy place:

There is something within each of us

guiding each of us to what works best for us individually

and to the Work we are here to do.

No one is alone in that closet; there’s a guide in there with you, shining a light on your possibility but also asking you to listen carefully to your inner shining wisdom:

No one else can do exactly what you are here to do.

You have precisely the tools, talents

and soul-filled enthusiasm needed to

create the work — your work — in this world

where it is sorely needed.

And if you’re not sure about that, while basking in the possibility of this Truth, get out your pen or sketchbook and complete this simple fill-in-the-blank-of-your-Soul:

I’m an inventor and I can make anything work.

This is a description or sketch of the invention

I feel the world needs most:

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

_____________________

Name of my invention

My International Prize Awarded on:

________________________

(day/month/year)

Here are the steps I took to make it:

1)

2)

3)

Now that’s wisdom shining from your Soul. And work waiting for you to do today.

And that’s a Truth.

Blessing on your day!

Elizabeth Darby

Challenges

Often when we whisper a dream of what we want to do with our time here, a bully shows up inside.

You know the type; they are the ones who remind us of “responsibilities” or it’s converse,  “being unrealistic” which is just another way of “being irresponsible”

Or that bully reminds us that we don’t have as much talent as our third cousin removed, or our neighbor or perhaps even our cat. And certainly, if that doesn’t dim the momentary shine of our soul when feeling the forward movement of wanting that dream, we are reminded that we don’t really have the right to be so, well, deserving of such fun – life is serious, no?

Challenges.

Call these roadblocks.  And the social “norm” is that we weather the challenge or we weary of them, and thus the dream “was not for you after all, weakling,” that bully inside sneers.

I say meet challenge for challenge.

If the bully inside or outside of you says, “You have responsibilities . . . you are being unrealistic. . . .”

This is a two-part sandbag, knock to the knees of your taking a step on the path.  We need to take each of these on one at a time.

First “you have responsibilities.”  Challenge it:  Yes, I have responsibilities, thank you.. And I am taking action to meet them.  I am responsible for who I am and what I am responsible for is my circumstance right now.

—Right?

By taking responsibility for where you are — no matter where you are— you open a door to actions you can immediately take to meet your circumstance. You’ve just dismantled the lock, the door, and the bully leaning against the door keeping you from your dream.

You can take responsibility for your situation and simultaneously take action to meet the responsibilities of your circumstance. Either way you look at it, it’s in your hands, and in your control to take the actions, now!  It may be as important and as forward as simply “deciding” to take actions to meet those responsibilities.

Not sure?

What needs to happen to meet your responsibilities?  Bit by bit, step by step.

Do the first one. And make sure what needs to happen is in your hands, not relying or waiting on someone else’s actions.

This can be the first muddy spot in the road, and we’ll look at it again, so if in doubt, just take one small action now that improves your circumstance or meets your responsibilities. One small thing, followed by one more small thing and feel the energy of captivity to circumstance flush.

If it’s stubborn, then we need to work with the “belief” that this circumstance is deserved in some way, and we need to see what dark shadow your bully is reminding you of:

What do you get from believing that you have no action you can take to improve your circumstance?

For most it’s a belief about love, being loved, and being cared for that peeks out – a feeling from a very long time ago.

Or perhaps the belief is that the solution requires a sacrifice too dear – these self-limiting places are all beliefs protecting you in some way.  And knowing that, we can take actions that honor the need to avoid the sacrifice of some soul – either yours or those you love.

Then the question is really about a judgment of being “unrealistic” from your bully’s point of view.

Challenge that POV again: Under what conditions would what I dream to be and do be realistic?  What do I need to believe or what actions do I need to take to make it realistic or achievable?

Quickly this comes again to your own beliefs, embedded like a viral video in your soul.

Do you believe what you dream is unrealistic?

What do you get from believing that?

Peel it away like an onion, layer by layer, asking what you get from that belief – it’s all there to protect you somehow.

“What do I get from believing my dream job/life/use of my talents is not going to be realistic – a code word for “successful”?”

“I get a reason to not try . . .

And what do you get from not trying?

“I get an excuse as to why what ever “it” is, is not working.

And what do you get from your excuse?

I get self-protection, as if I tried and it didn’t work — i.e. didn’t meet my definition of success — I would prove myself to be a failure at my dream . . .  So I’m keeping myself protected from proving that I believe my dream won’t work.

Ouch.

And what do you get from believing your dream won’t be successful?

You are really saying you fear your dream will be a failure, and you with it.

Or put another way, you get protection from this judgment of failure –

Funny thing is all negative beliefs try to offer our small selves protection:

Protection from finding out you FEAR you can’t make your dream in reality

look like it does in your head. . .

There – it’s really self-doubt —

masquerading as that bully who is deriding your dream as —codeword— unrealistic.

But unmasked, self-doubt is indeed something you and I and we can work with, and more importantly, work to make reality look like your vision, by asking a simple question.

“Under what conditions would I be able to make my dream in reality look like it does in my head?  What steps do I take to make it so?”

Voila, the steps you can take pour out in front as a path:

Well, I could take more time on its execution so the results look a tad better;

I could research how others achieved something similar and try to learn from their models;

I could improve my skill, get feedback, undertake a course or a coach to give me feedback and improve my performance . . .

I could do all this and keep working at it.

And little by little my skill will improve and grow, if I work hard, work honestly, and work with faith that I can do this.

And now, what else could you believe that would help you make your dream real?

Pursuing this path of what else you could believe soon becomes:

I could believe that if I dream it, I can work at doing it — and do the work of doing it well.

So:  Recap.

Challenges: Are you being or dreaming something that is called Unrealistic by inner bullies or outer loved ones?

Challenge it:  Under what conditions would this dream be realistic? What steps can I take to make it realistic?  What steps can I take to make it happen . . .

Can I do that?

Usually the answer is a resounding YES.

So go! Now is a great time to dream it and to do it. Step by step.

Why Would It Be Great . . .

. . . if we were each here On Task and On Purpose?

What a wonderful world that would be — getting the Work done only You or I or He or She knows how to do, using specific gifts, talents, passions and vision.

Idealistic?

I don’t think so.

I think the question is why

we are afraid to think that each person

— even You —

does have talents and gifts and abilities

unlike any other here now on Earth

and that it is possible

to use them right . . . . now!

Do we think the “um, work” (said with heavy heart), meaning the drudgery, wouldn’t get done if You and I were On Task and On Purpose?

What is it about being — yes everyone being — On Task and On Purpose that makes us nervous?

Or would we rather believe that the “um, work” would not only get done, but get done better, faster and with more energy than now?

At least that’s what I’ve found, for when we are On Task and On Purpose little things remain little and quickly achieved, like tick off boxes, for the vision and focus and energy of what we are here to do is rocket power to our Souls.

It’s not even stopped by dust.