On Being . . . Perfect

In preparing for a next workshop, a friend “in the biz” of helping others noted all the courses she takes continuously and has for a decade or so. Every day in her work she helps others rid themselves of blocks in energy and the ill-health caused by the holdings we all carry. She is ever present, ever helpful and nurturing. Indeed, she is ever on purpose, being her best self with her clients, so insightful and supportive, clearly living the reason for her being here — and yet, in her alone times, her conversation reveals, she is ever searching for being ‘better’ at the courses she attends … but ‘better’ at what I don’t know, for she is perfect in the expression of who she is, right at this very moment.

It really struck me how much we seek being perfect — whether in body, mind, shape, or soul — rather than seek being, well, ourselves in all our naked beauty.

Of course that beauty includes the scars, the bulges, perhaps even the ugly toes or toenails. It includes the moments of Fear and soul-searching, and wanting to be ‘enough’ and each of these come day after day, shadow and light, shadow and light, as we live our days. Because the beauty and the perfection is shining out from within of course. I’ve long told my daughters the most beautiful diamonds on earth are those that are ‘near’ perfect —not totally perfect —and carry the small flaws within for that is how they sparkle and give off the fire from within. I don’t know that it’s true, but it helps to dry a lot of ‘not enough’ tears and thus it is a truth any of us can live:

We must shine with and despite our flaws, believing they, too, can capture our internal fire and reflect the light passing through us.

A hundred plus a little years ago, here in the West where I live, my grandmother’s family struggled to get enough water for each day’s ‘being’.  There were moral conquests as we struggle with, of course, but they entailed following God’s footsteps, not Being Perfect as God.The Work of getting the daily basics — water, food grown with it, roof strong enough for summer tornadoes and winter winds — was honorable and worthy work of Being and with grace and shine they met the day. Gratitude for the smallest boon, such as an icicle hanging on the roof just out the door so breaking the water in the well unnecessary for another day in January, or a pot full of hail in May to ease the loss of another gallon of water that had to be fetched from the creek a mile away and by foot, filled the house with grace and joy and a moment of Being feeling successful, content and purpose-filled.

As our society here today enjoys luxuries unimaginable to my grandmother’s family (and to much of the world today) it seems we’ve focused our moral attention and struggles on that which we feel we do not have, and thus we might too often seek being Perfect rather than simply Being and greatly Shining with gratitude and on purpose.

A sense of ‘enough’ — and being enough — is what’s missing, no?

 

So as you consider today’s ‘being’ and what ‘being enough’ might include,

do take ‘being perfect’ out of the equation.

As I say in my journal guide …

You are not perfect at anything . . . except at being you.

You are perfectly made for the life and work you are here to do in your Life-time.

You are perfectly able to create — in fact you must — your own Work.

 

As you consider what your Work might be, here’s a question to ponder from my Work:

 

See a child standing before you. See many!

Look at each face carefully and note for a moment

how beautiful each is.

What one thing does this and every child you see need?

_____________________________________

How can you give it to one of them? Two of them?

Each and all?

_____________________________________

That which you wish to give every other child might be just the thing you yourself need or needed as a child,

whether a hug, a sense of enough, a moment of freedom from life-sustaining chores, or being seen,

or the feeling that comes with feeling

worth the care someone else offers,

like you giving to that child you hold in your vision.

Take a moment and see you giving it to yourself as a child.

Now plan and plot how you can give that to the child

you see standing before you,

whether in your vision or in your reality!

May the rest of your day be joyous in your Being You, shining forth your best and most certainly without being perfect!

Here you Begin!

Blessings,

Elizabeth Darby

 

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You Have a Choice

You have a choice, right in this moment.

“Choose not to worry.”

Ernst Holmes wrote this as his second of recommendations to live well.

“Worry is an acquired habit. . . . You didn’t worry when you were a child. . . .  Loose [the past] and let it go and look forward to the future with hope. Build up a great idea of yourself the way you would like to be and work toward it, knowing that God is your partner and friend, and wills you to be happy. Think, feel, and live this.”

How much of  worry — anyone’s worry — is fear?

Most of it, it would seem. Fear of what’s to come; fear of what has been; fear for won’t be or will be that isn’t wanted…. worry is fear of those things out of our control, moment to moment.

And as the proverbial truth reminds us, worrying is akin to praying for what we don’t want, keeping it present and with us, a fear shadowing our every step.

Unfortunately worry also defines our steps — was that a stumble? A wrong path? Am I in danger? Will I fall or flail?…

So how can we choose to not worry, to live like children of light again, when worry trips us so? It seems almost to easy to say just let it go and look to a future with hope” when the shadows are marring our view.

The answer is in the action of it:  to choose to Work.  Holmes suggests the sure way: To envision a great idea of yourself and then work — work toward it, work in the moment, lean into idea.

It seems to me there are two working ways into the light from the shadow of worry, as actions take us out of the land of internal shadow.  Use either one, as the magic is in the work of working toward your vision, knowing you are not alone in it:

Here’s the first:

People don’t know this, but I’m really, really good at:

_______________________________________

________________________________________

 

. . . And I like doing these things.

 

Here’s why:

In feeling — leaning into — why you love doing what you’re really good at, you begin the work of building into the vision of you as you wish to become. Even just feeling that great idea of you, and then working toward it, seems to loose the worries, moment by moment.

Here’s another way to loose those worries:

I care deeply about

___________________________

___________________________

and I’m good at …

___________________________

___________________________

So clearly the World needs me to put these together

in this way as my work while I’m here:

_________________________________

_________________________________

Finding a purpose — your purpose — in the world and actively leaning into it, moment by moment, brings light into the shadows that plague us in the worries and fears. Focusing on what we care deeply about strengthens us, as acting On Task and On Purpose, we find we are working, in light and shining light out.

Action looses the worries and the fears — the choice is yours to take it.

Walk, no Act, in light and with blessings today…

Elizabeth Darby

“I can, if I know I can…”

“I can, if I know I can”

 

Ernst Holmes wrote in 1968 of how we can live a life On Task and On Purpose. He didn’t call it that; his prose was much more eloquent. Yet today I am reminded it is so similar a process:

“Overcome negative mental attitudes,” he wrote. “Your basic thought here should be: ‘I can, if I know I can.’ Negative thoughts will produce negative results, while positive thinking surrounds you with an atmosphere which tends to draw good into your experience. Successful people do not permit themselves to think of failure….This doesn’t mean arbitrary or dogmatic thinking; rather it means a sort of good-natured flexibility with yourself, because you are the greatest single asset you will ever possess…”

You are the greatest single asset

you will ever possess.

I don’t think one can hear — or live — this enough, especially with ‘good-natured flexibility with yourself’.

Doubt — doubt of God, doubt of value, doubt of self, doubt of being Loved and lovable, doubt of having anything good going in one’s life — and its dark twin shadow of, well, living in the Shadows of Life are the cause of the shaking of our knees in facing each moment when things look like they’re going badly.

Instead, Shake it off.

Enough.

Draw a Finish Line — right here.

Here, now, you are Finished with those shadows of doubts that cast a pall over the day and a spell over this moment of life.

Step into light and let it flow out of you.

You, full of light shining forth, just for this moment

—and now this moment, and now this one —

are the greatest single asset

you will ever possess.

Take a moment now and smile. That’s a shine beginning…here.

Blessings,

Elizabeth Darby