I found myself stressed on 6 fronts this past two weeks, each needing focus, belief, courage and breath to start again. Today. Now. Anew. So I wrote them all out on paper to get them out of my swirling mind. I handed them off to God and thus gained some breathing space.
As I added up all I needed with all I have been given, very long term of course, I found that it balances out to within a few cents over a lifetime.
Which got me to thinking about that Bible parable which makes me unsettles me so — the 3 talents one— as I tend to identify with the guy who buried his talent, his measure of money in those days, so as to make sure he can give it back. Like him, I don’t want to not do right thing or lose money, etc., and yet it is he who is ‘put to death’ for not prospering with what is given by God.
The ‘truth’ of it is in the ‘prosper’ part, of course. And that entails more than a balance sheet apparently; it entails how each of us defines a self-image of what need and abundance (even the ‘if only’ dreams) looks like reflected in the mirror. Right there, in your and my face, is the image: Are we just getting by on all needs? Are you reflecting “if only” dreams or the great gifts given and shining them out? Am I reflecting the yearning of what I need — and the feeling of the need already met in this moment — or am I reflecting the feeling of hiding the need and the desire and the talent … well, you see what I mean.
There’s lots of energy there, wanting to not need much, needing to do right thing, yearning to give back what given, to live in balance, to live in abundance not in deficit and to not lose what is given — wanting to do this life thing right while being aware that what is reflected back to us is what we are living inside… lots of energy there.
But we are instructed by such Story that we are here to do three simple things:
To Light and to Prosper and to Love. . .
and not necessarily in that order.
And there is the discomfort.
Is the picture of your life or mine a reflection shining any of those — the gifts, the talents, the yearning desire, the need — as demonstrating more than ‘just getting by’? Of making do by a whisker or a life of just making it and accommodating what looks like ‘reality’ or ‘ability’ or ‘situation’… rather than shining and prospering with what we are each given?
I feel such a picture of just getting by is a mirror of giving personal power away and not taking any of gifts given already in hand as tools or expressions of shine or of love.
I asked this question of Soulful Self and of God: “How do I expand my sense of incarnated self so that I can shine and prosper all I’ve been so graciously given — and what would that feel like? As clearly, we are given over a lifetime what we feel we need, rather than given a lifetime of needs as so many millions of us experience.
I think that’s where that ‘living like you already have all you need’ comes from — and there is a magic in it — as the parable teaches we already have all we need; it’s what we do with it that is our Task and our Purpose.
What would it feel like for you? Living, taking actions daily to shine and to prosper what you’ve been given inside, rather than focusing on the outer number of just getting by or living in need? What does abundance feel like after all? Is there a magic number by which you define yourself, or is it an experience?
I asked a dear daughter, as I was still feeling ‘careful’ trying to figure out this uncomfortable balance sheet of life. She said simply:
I feel abundant when I’m living with abandon . . .
you know like you just ‘do it big’ and it’s huge and wonderful and…
By now, she was sweeping arms now and I remembered the feeling from years of dance training — of living, breathing, moving with abandon, rather than clutching the movement which looks terrible of course and feels terrible, too.
Living with abandon:
It’s the feeling of being at the top of a mountain;
The feeling of leaping into the air and hanging there for a moment
suspended as art meets light;
The feeling of whooshing on a swing with long ropes;
The feeling of galloping fast on a horse;
The feeling of the waves splashing around running legs…
What’s your feeling of living with abandon? For in it is found your living in Love with life and source, to Shine and to Prosper,
So I looked up the etymology of abandon:
á banon. To + power/authority.
From Old English and Old French. Or as Eric Partridge writes in his fabulous book Origins:
“a sovereign’s proclamation within his/her jurisdiction…”
Oh, dear God! That’s right! Living with abandon, living to shine and to prosper, is living proclaiming sovereignty within the jurisdiction of one’s life while on Earth.
And that means, since you are a sovereign over your actions while here on Earth, it’s a given you have power, authority, treasury at the foundation of your life, as that’s what a sovereign has as a given …
So what will you do today, to shine, to prosper all you have as a Given, and while Living with Abandon?